rayvern (rayvern) wrote in punctuators,
rayvern
rayvern
punctuators

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Wrong punctuations?

"He watched them and wondered if everyone had the same reaction to the curse, the same arch of the body as pain streaked through, the same contorted expression on one’s face, the same high-pitched scream turning scratchy and dry as one continued to scream even when one’s voice is gone."

I think the punctuations are horrendously wrong. There's too many commas. Perhaps a semi-colon or something somewhere would right this sentence? Thanks in advance.
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